The Wall

There once was a man named Gary who lived in a certain neighborhood. Gary liked his neighbors very much.

He would have them over to his house to watch football. Their wives would come over and drink tea. Gary always spoke highly of them.

One day he learned that his next door neighbor was moving out of the neighborhood. He went over to meet his new neighbor.

When Gary returned, his wife asked him, "What do you think of our new neighbor?".

"He makes me sick!" Gary said. "I find him revolting! He will bring this whole neighborhood down. He seems to have no special talents or skills. He doesn't strike me as intelligent or scholarly. He just has this simple way about him that makes me want to throw up."

His wife later agreed. Soon the entire neighborhood was talking about what a bad man their neighbor was.

Several days went by, and Gary decided he had to do something. Eventually he decided to build a large wall to divide their yards.

So he started building. It was to be two feet across and four feet high. It took several weekends to build. Every weekend Gary would start out asking himself, "Why am I doing this?" As he worked he thought of many answers to that question.

Occasionally Gary would drive past his neighbor on the street, and his neighbor would wave kindly at him. Gary would pretend like he didn't notice him and would keep driving.

Gary continued to invite his neighbors over to watch football, but he never invited the neighbor who lived across the wall. One time the state college made a spectacular play, and everyone cheered, but Gary just looked over his wall, noticing the smile on his neighbor's face as he went back and forth, mowing the lawn.

In his heart Gary cursed the day his neighbor moved in. He decided to build the fence higher -and thicker.

Several weekends later, the additions to the wall were nearly complete. Gary's neighbor came outside and shouted, "How's the wall coming?".

"Fine." Responded Gary.

"Hey," Said the neighbor. "Why are you putting so much into that thing anyway?"

"I don't know anymore." Answered Gary. After pausing for a moment he called out, "It's because I've never had much inside me, and now I have nothing left."

The neighbor walked out onto the street then came across Gary's yard. "What do you mean?" Asked the neighbor.

"I have been telling lies about myself." Said Gary. "And I have wronged you. I told everyone around here that I didn't like you, so I built this wall to keep you away."

"Really?" Said the neighbor.

"Yeah, but the truth is that when I met you I saw clearly what a rotten person I was, and I built this wall so I would never have to see that again. The real wall was the one I was building in myself."

The neighbor looked stunned for a moment. "I have a backhoe on my property and a big truck. I don't think it would take very long for us to take this wall down."

Gary smiled. "Somehow, I thought you would say something like that ..."

The Storm And The Fall

"Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.

The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock.

And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand.

The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell-- and great was its fall!"

Now when Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were astounded at his teaching, for he taught them as one having authority, and not as their scribes.

Matthew 7:24-29

My wife and I were talking about depression tonight.

When does it come upon a person? What can they do to avoid it?

She mentioned a certain woman who died from diabetes. Her husband became greatly depressed, talked about taking his life, and eventually did take his own life.

Of course there would be no way for us to go inside the man and see his sorrow, but his final act does shed some light on it. Consider the possibilities.

Either:

1) The man was full of joy, but this changed when he lost his wife. He became so sad at her passing that his sadness became unbearable, and so he decided to end this burden by taking his own life.

Or:

2) The man had ceased to live long ago. His wife brought him drama, desire, and distraction. He eventually forgot he already had a foot in the grave. When he lost his wife he lost his ability to forget he was already dead, and so he took his own life.

Let us say the first possibility is the case. If this man had meaning in life only to lose it when his wife left then it follows that meaning in life is a matter of external consequence.

It would follow that the best way to find meaning in life is to learn every means of hanging onto the things one finds valuable as long as possible. Research diabetes. Start government programs to assure oneself that diabetes will almost never take anyone's spouse.

And what kind of certainty can one have of happiness in such a life? If such a grand effort could make such a difference, it would still be a risk. The rest is just a matter of how long it lasted.

Maybe one could enjoy meaning in life for a short while, or perhaps for a longer while.

And what of the certainty of death? Suppose this man was reflectively aware that his wife gave him meaning in life. Would he be unable to realize that she would one day be separated from him, as we all are, in death?

Perhaps he had hoped to hang on to his meaning in life as long as he could. Then when she was taken from him in death he could look back and say, "Surely I have no meaning left in life, but there was a time when it did have meaning. I can go on living because I still remember when my life did have meaning."

Or perhaps he would exit as abruptly as a film watcher who had only hoped to see a certain scene in a movie. Could you see him rising suddenly and walking out in the middle of the movie?

Suppose an employee approached him before he left the building. "But sir, this is the only showing you are permitted to see with this ticket! This is a great insult to the director who gave you this ticket."

"That was the only scene I wanted to see." Perhaps he could have walked right out of the theater. Maybe he could even smile as he did it. But how far down could such a smile go?


The other explanation also remains.

The man may have said to himself (though perhaps in a secretive way): "I hate all this, and myself. The choices that follow, the events, the circumstances, why even fate itself means nothing. I might as well get married, I do not care."

Or he could have said it differently:

"My life means nothing to me. The Bible says that, 'He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing'. I should at least be compensated for having this life that means nothing to me."

Or he could have said it another way:

"I have this intense longing. What I long for I do not know, it escapes me. When I find it I will look at myself in the mirror and say, 'Now my life has importance to me.' Until I find such a thing I might as well get married."

In such a view a person may pursue all kinds of successes and distractions, but the real despair has nothing to do with the success or failure of such efforts. It was there all along.

Consider the one Jesus identifies as the foolish man:

And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand.

The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell-- and great was its fall!

In this parable we hear about a foolish man who built his house on the sand. He was too foolish to avoid building his house upon a rock.

Suppose there were more foolish people afterwords who said, "How sad! This man had an excellent house! The only problem was the outer circumstance: the storm blew it down!"

Christ calls all such talk folly.

The difference between the wise and the foolish man had nothing to do with the ferocity or the mildness of the storm.

The house of the wise man faced the storm and it stood firmly.

The difference between the two houses was not their surroundings. The difference was in that secret place that no one could see. The difference was that hidden thing holding up the house.

The foolish man did not have such a foundation, and so much the worse for every person who looks longingly in life and says, "If only I had a career so that people would respect me," Or, "If only I had a fetching wife who met my desires."

Suppose such a person finds and keeps a career or a wife. Everything seems to hold together, just as the house of the foolish man seemed to hold together.

But then suppose their final day comes. Suppose they look back on their lives and remember, "Ah, yes, there was really nothing more to my career, or to my spouse... my ticket has come up, and I feel I have won nothing."

On the other hand, this conscious realization is sometimes avoided. People die suddenly without recalling anything. Has such a person escaped justice?

I wonder if a person were to build a house on the shore, and, let us say imaginatively that he was able to avoid remembering his foundation through rigorous mental training, if he could enjoy his time living there?

Would he not have an unnameable fear, a sweat on the back of his neck, following him along and stealing the delight of his every achievement? Would he not exchange his awareness of a conscious, terrible disaster for a worse dred of something vague and devastating?

The Apostle clearly states that a man reaps what he sows.


Another possibility: if a man were able to die unconscious of his already being dead, would it be possible to die in consciousness of still living?

Suppose the suicidal man had taken the fatal poison and said to himself -in spite of his earlier speculations- "You know what? I do believe God still loves me! This love is totally unsearchable and yet I see it so exactly!" Would it be too late for the man who had forgotten he was already dead to find himself oddly alive?

The question is of decisive importance for all.

Certainly we have not all put ourselves in a place where we will all die immediately, but neither is anyone able to say how long it will be before they die.

And it is not too late for anyone now alive to hear Christ's words and put them into practice, to believe on the one sent by God, to forgive one's enemies, to ask earnestly -as the thief did- to be remembered by Christ in His kingdom!

Life has its storms, it is too true, and we are right to weep over them. At the same time it is also true that every house has a foundation, either one that can be shaken or one that cannot be shaken.

A person would do well to ask, "What foundation is my life resting on? Have I heard the words of Christ and put them into practice?"

On The Works Of Munch

"Christianity is not melancholy. It is glad tidings for the melancholy."
Kierkegaard

Perhaps the most enigmatic artist of the 19th century was Edvard Munch.

From the 17th century on, Europe began to host a number of intellectuals calling for the perfection of society through education, philosophy, and government. These intellectuals gave rise to the period known as the Enlightenment, followed by the utopian ideals of Napoleon, followed by continental revolution, followed by the totalitarian governments of Lenin and, later, Hitler and Stalin.

During the quest for societal perfection, a number of artists, poets, and writers became disillusioned with the magnificent plans of the future. Hegel, the philosopher who described the Absolute Idea in historical terms of dialectic became profoundly disappointed when Napoleon lost at Waterloo. One also recalls the industrious dreams of the first World War and its subsequent lost generation with writers like Hemmingway and Fitzgerald.

Perhaps the best expressions of disillusionment found itself in the paintings of a Norwegian artist, Edvard Munch. Munch's pieces often express the strange sorrow of existing as well as the anxiety associated with making choices in the modern world.

Hegel and the intellectuals before his time had much to say on the topic of societal progress. In their minds society was continually lending itself to newer and better methods of interaction. While happiness was generally very high or very poor in individuals, the intellectuals emphasized that the historical significance had more to do with the public in general and not with single individuals.

While Hegel and the new intellectuals emphasized the metric of societal progress they also portrayed society as the mechanism for progress. An educated society would be able to judge and recognize universal goods in ways single individuals could not -or so the intellectuals claimed.

Munch's pieces examine the so-called public. They go beneath the surface. Instead of finding noble intentions, sincerity, and confidence, Munch found self-deceit, restlessness, and anxiety.

His art is not photo realistic. It takes artistic license in broad strokes. You can't make out the details because they pull the audience into the mood and gloom of the subjects in the paintings.


A common theme in the paintings of Munch is sexual frustration.

The communists of the era, such as Karl Marx, were beginning to make great promises about liberating men and women from the capitalist institution of marriage. By removing this historical artifact passed by tradition, the communal enjoyment of free love and sexuality would benefit society in ways never before imagined. Or so Marx claimed.

Munch's paintings reflect the way one can fail to recognize oneself by means of sexual interaction. The sexual turmoil of his subjects express horror perhaps to the extent of suicide.


My take on Munch is that he was a wake up call to the people of his day. His works cried out, "Beware those who promise a perfect society here! Society will never be perfect because society is essentially imperfection!"

His most famous work is probably The Scream. If I may take some liberty in offering an interpretation, the subject seems to cry out in an expression of dred and trembling, though nothing seems to be chasing him.

This nothingness, as Kierkegaard noted in his On the concept of Anxiety is the origin of dred. The subject in the Munch piece may marry or remain alone. He may lie and cheat, or he may pursue the ethical life.

No one else can make this decision. When he looks to someone else (such as society and social opinion) he finds nothing. This fear of nothing in the subject is his dred.


Munch's contributions must not be overlooked. In a lifetime of painting he accomplished far more than the revolutionaries and intellectuals of his day ever promised, but to call Munch's perspective the truth in its disillusionment is to regard life with contempt.


Munch showed that sex, society, and an ambitious, revolutionary attitude will not give anyone meaning in life, and I say as solemnly as I can that in this single regard he was totally, totally correct.

This however, is so very far from suggesting life has meaning or that it can be meaningful to someone.

When a doctor writes a prescription he takes the symptoms of his patient into careful consideration. Munch sets out to make us aware of our own symptoms, but he leaves us with the task of accepting the prescription.

If we look for someone else to accept the prescription for us, we are left with the chilling glimpse of how alone we really are.

If Munch will allow for such a cure, it can only be a prescription if one can take it without hesitation, without another secret longing, without evasion, in short, without duplicity. In this regard I understand the call to devotion.

"The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You."
Isaiah 26:3

Sayings of Pascal

Faith is in the heart and obliged to say not Scio [I know] but Credo [I believe].
II.41

Men despise religion, they hate it and are afraid it might be true.
II.46

The knowledge of outward things will not console me in times of affliction.
III. 57

Man's condition. Inconstancy, boredom, anxiety.
III. 58

Anyone who does not see the vanity of the world is very vain himself. And so who does not see it, apart from the young who are preoccupied with bustle, distractions, and plans for the future?

But take away their distractions and you will see them wither from boredom. Then they feel their hollowness without understanding it, because it is indeed depressing to be in a sate of unbearable sadness as soon as you are reduced to contemplating yourself, and without distraction from doing so.
III. 70

We never keep ourselves to the present moment. We look forward to the future as too slow in coming, as if to hasten its arrival, or we remember the past to hold it up as if it had happened too quickly. We are so undiscerning that we stray into times which are not our own and do not think of the only one that is truly ours, and so vain that we dream about those which no longer exist and allow the present to escape without thinking about it. This is because the present usually hurts us. We hide it from sight because it wounds us, and if it is pleasant then we are sorry to see it pass. We try to buttress it with the future, and think of arranging things which are not in our power for a time we cannot be at all sure of attaining.

Everyone should study their thoughts. They will find them all centered on the past or the future. We almost never think of the present, and if we do it is simply to shed some light on the future. The present is never our end. Past and present are our means, only the future is our end. And so we never actually live, though we hope to, and in constantly striving for happiness it is inevitable that we will never achieve it.
III. 80

We know the truth not only by means of reason but also by means of the heart. It is through the heart that we know the first principles, and reason which has no part in this knowledge vainly tries to contest them.
VII. 142

...That is why gaming and the conversation of women, war, and great offices of state are so sought after. It is not that happiness lies in such things, nor that we suppose that true beatitude comes from the money we can win at the gaming table or hunting the hare; no one would accept such things as a gift. We are not looking for this soft, peaceful existence which allows us to think about our unfortunate condition, nor the dangers of war or the burden of office, but the bustle which distracts and amuses us-The reason why we prefer the hunt to the kill.
IX. 168

Philosophers. All very well to shout out to someone who does not know himself to make his own way to God! All very well to tell it to a man who does not know himself!
X. 174

Pity the atheists who are searching. For are they not unhappy enough? Revile those who boast about it.
XIII. 188

Atheism, sign of strength of mind but only up to a certain point.
XIII. 189

There are few true Christians. Even as far as faith goes. There are many who believe, but through superstition. There are many who do not believe, but through licentiousness. There are few in between

...

I do not include those who lead a truly devout life, nor all those who believe through a feeling of the heart.
XIV. 210

There is nothing so consistent with reason as the denial of reason.
XIV. 213

The metaphysical proofs of God are so far removed from man's reasoning, and so complicated, that they have little force. When they do help some people it is only at the moment when they see the demonstration. An hour later they are afraid of having made a mistake.
XV. 222

Just as Jesus Christ remained unrecognized by his fellow men, so his truth remains hidden among ordinary thinking, with no outward difference. Just like the Eurcharist and ordinary bread.
XIX. 258

Those we see to be Christians without knowing the prophecies and the proofs are no less able judges than those who do know them. They judge with their hearts, as others judge with their minds. It is God himself who inclines them to believe, and it is this way that they are most efficaciously convinced.
XXVIII. 414

Evil is easy, it appears in countless ways: good is almost unique.
XXXIII. 454

But is it probable that probability brings certainty?
XXXIV. 496

Nothing is so intolerable for man as to be in a state of complete tranquillity, without passions, without business, without diversion, without effort. Then he feels his nothingness, his abandonment, his inadequacy, his dependence, his helplessness, his emptiness. At once from the depths of his soul arises boredom, gloom, sadness, grief, vexation, despair.
XXXIV. 515

Vanity is so anchored in the human heart that a soldier, a cadet, a cook, a kitchen porter boasts, and wants to have admirers, and even philosophers, want them, and those who write against them want the prestige of having written well, and those who read them want the prestige of having read them, and I, writing this, perhaps have this desire, and those who will read this ...
XXXIV. 520

Man is neither angel nor beast, and unhappily whoever wants to act the angel, acts the beast.
XXXV. 557

What is the self?

A man who sits at the window to watch the passers-by; can I say that he sat there to see me if I pass by? No, for he is not thinking of me in particular. But someone who loves a person because of her beauty, does he love her? No, because smallpox, which will destroy beauty without destroying the person, will ensure that he no longer loves her.

And if someone loves me for my judgement, for my memory, is it me they love? No, because I can lose these qualities without losing myself. Where is the self, then, if it is neither in the body nor in the soul?
XXXV.567

Nothing is so difficult from the world's point of view as the religious life, and nothing is easier than leading it from God's.
XXXV. 572

I take it as self-evident that, if everyone knew what was said about him, there would not be four friends in the world. This is clear from the quarrels which are occasioned by the indiscreet remarks which we sometimes make.
XXXVIII. 646

It is right that so pure a God discloses himself only to those whose hearts are purified.
XXXVIII. 646

We are not satisfied with the life we have in ourselves and in our own being: we want to lead an imaginary life in the minds of other people, and so we make an effort to impress. We constantly strive to embellish and preserve our imaginary being, and neglect the real one. And if we are calm, or generous, or loyal we are anxious to let it be known so that we can bind these virtues to our other being, and would rather detach them from our real selves to unite them with the other. We would happily be cowards if that gained us the reputation of being brave.
XXXVIII. 654

Nothing more surely underlines an extreme weakness of mind than the failure to recognize the unhappiness of someone without God.
XLVI. 681

Before examining the proofs of the Christian religion, I find I must point out how wrong men are who live their lives indifferent to the search for truthfulness of something which is so important to them, and which affects them so closely.
XLVI. 682

A Dark Face

Then Adam had sexual intercourse with Eve his wife, and she conceived and gave birth to a son, Cain (meaning "I have created"). For, as she said, "With God's help, I have created a man!" Her next child was his brother, Abel.

Abel became a shepherd, while Cain was a farmer. At harvest time Cain brought the Lord a gift of his farm produce, and Abel brought the fatty cuts of meat from his best lambs, and presented them to the Lord. And the Lord acccepted Abel's offering, but not Cain's. This made Cain both dejected and very angry, and his face grew dark with fury.

"Why are you angry?" the Lord asked him. "Why is your face so dark with rage? It can be bright with joy if you will do what you should! But if you refuse to obey, watch out! Sin is waiting to attack you, longing to destroy you. But you can conquer it!"

One day Cain suggested to his brother, "Let's go out into the fields." And while they were together there, Cain attacked and killed his brother.

But afterwards the Lord asked Cain, "Where is your brother? Where is Abel?"

"How should I know?" Cain retorted. "Am I supposed to keep track of him wherever he goes?"

But the Lord said, "Your brother's blood calls to me from the ground. What have you done? You are hereby banished from this ground which you have defiled with your brother's blood. No longer will it yield crops for you, even if you toil on it forever! From now on you will be a fugitive and a tramp upon the earth, wandering from place to place."
Genesis 4:1-12 The Living Bible

People often draw attention to the sacrfice of others - or the lack thereof.

For example: "That car pulled out ahead of me and slowed me down. Couldn't he have sacrificed a few seconds so I wouldn't have been inconvenienced?"

Presumably the one who does not sacrifice is a selfish person and therefore a bad person.

... But Cain gave a gift of his fruits to the Lord.


Here is the puzzling aspect of the matter: nearly everyone sacrifices. Almost everyone has -at one moment or another- given up something good for what they considered to be something greater.

But is every offering pleasing to the Lord?


Consider Abel's sacrifice. The writer of Hebrews tells us:

By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead.
Hebrews 11:4 NIV

These two men willingly separated themselves from their gifts to God. There is no indication that anyone twisted their arms. Two gifts were given to God, but only one was pleasing to Him.

By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice.

The writer of Hebrews focuses not on what kind of thing these brothers did. The emphasis is placed squarely on the way they did that thing.

Abel sacrificed in a way that was pleasing to God. Cain sacrificed in a way that God did not accept.

Consider the case where two small daughters find two pennies on the ground. Their father notices and says to them, "I see you have found some money that belongs to me. Give them back to me."

Suppose the first girl says, "This money is yours to do with as you please. I am glad to return it to you." And the second girl says, "If this is the way you treat your own daughter, I do not want anything to do with your money. Take it back!".

Is it not clear that the two daughters are completely different people? The one daughter acts in a way that is pleasing to her father and the other daughter does not.

Yet, in such a case they both return the money.

In a procedural, clinical way of looking at God's response it is easy to be confused. Cain gave God the gift of his fruits. Check. He did exactly the same thing Abel did -on the outside.

The difference was in a place where no procedure could inspect or even comment ... the difference was in Cain's spirit, and it was Cain's spirit that God called into question.

Cain was going through the motions of his relationship with God. There was no Cain expressing his love before God. The love which Cain had toward God was locked far, far away in his heart. The farther away it went, the darker his face became.


God confronts Cain and says:

"Why is your face so dark with rage? It can be bright with joy if you will do what you should! But if you refuse to obey, watch out! Sin is waiting to attack you, longing to destroy you. But you can conquer it!"

What does it mean to be destroyed? The Bible says that after death we will be brought back to life again. We shall all continue in heaven or hell forever. So in what sense can someone be destroyed? Isn't Abel's life the one in danger?

And yet God tells Cain that sin is longing to destroy him.

The Apostle Paul once noted that if he gave all he possessed to the poor and surrendered his body to the flames -but did not have love- he would gain nothing. What is to be gained? He tells us in the earlier verse that if he has not love, he is nothing.

What does it mean to be nothing? For someone to be nothing? What does it mean to have no self?

Was Cain angry because God disapproved of his sacrifice? Or was it the case that Cain was angry because he sensed that he was beginning to lose his self? What can all the justifications and explanations amount to at the expense of losing one's self?


Very often a person will spend all their time trying to justify their behavior. Very few people hunger and thirst for living the life which needs no explanation.

When God confronts Cain again, Cain has a ready justification. In an attempt at shrewdness he replies that he cannot possibly be expected to track Abel everywhere he goes.

As human beings we are inclined to doubt anyone's behavior if they do not have a reason. And if they do have a justification for their actions we can accept it.

But love needs no explanation, no defense, no justification.

One time at work, a colleague said to me, "The law is meant to be practical and not to be fair." I took up the issue because I felt he was looking for an excuse to behave in an unjust way.

When I asked for an example he told me in anger, 'Do you think it is fair for you to have your beautiful wife?'

Although much could be said of the way desperate questions alienate us from ourselves -and the ways in which we have all been just like that wicked coworker- I will note instead that worldly legality has no knowledge of love's great happiness.

I gave him no defense in return. When I could not decide for myself why I had not I realized for myself that when two people truly love each other there is nothing left to be accounted.

All honest accounting, in truth, depends on the happiness of true love and not the other way around. Explanations, defenses, justifications are lacking and very much in need of love.

God told Cain earlier that if he had acted obediently, Cain's face could, "be bright with joy if you will do what you should!"

This is the facial expression which God does not concern Himself with confronting. Instead, Cain's disobedience lead to a darkened facial expression ... a facial expression which demanded to justify itself but never really could.


May we never be fooled (or fool ourselves) into thinking that our external acts of service to God are any substitute for true love and devotion.

May we never behave in such a way that we do not agree with.

May we seek to live in a way that needs no justification, and not in a way that constantly searches for justifications.

Amen!

Quality of Life

I have strong views on a certain topic which has entered the political domain: abortion.

My interest here is not in debating the issue. My concern is in overcoming the deceitfulness of public opinion in order to understand how to live a devoted life.

Although I believe there is room for parents to discuss before God cases where a mother's life is at stake, I am convinced that the vast majority of abortions are murder.

Just as the serpent presented Eve with a number of confusing facts to consider before she made a choice she would greatly regret, the world presents mothers with information that entices many but is detestable to God. Eve had a desire to obey her Lord and her husband, Adam, but in the moment of temptation she forgot what mattered the most to her. In the same way women are naturally inclined to love and nurture their children ... but the world always has a different plan.

Learning to see through the deceit of the world is an important responsibility which heaven gives to every pregnant woman -and also to each of us. The difficulty lies not in recognizing how one ought to live, but in making this method one's own.

Here are some aspects of the issue to consider:

1) Despair does not justify wrong-doing; despair is the essence of wrong doing, and it confirms that there was a wrong doing.

To me it is clear that killing an infant because a person "needed" to pursue a career, relationship, or education is a desperate act. It is precisely the element of despair that makes it murderous.

In the case of an accidental death it is very different.

Sadly some couples accidentally have a part in their infants' deaths -perhaps the baby is left with a toy and suffocates. As far as I am concerned, the parents are not murderers because they (presumably) did not leave the toy with the infant in a desperate attempt of some sort.

The element of desperation is the essential factor in all crime and all sin. To explain the act by referring to one's despair is to confess to one's true guilt.

2) No environment can give anyone meaning in life.

Ungodly men have supposed that if a child is to grow up in an environment where they are unloved they are better off removed from the world in their infancy. They foolishly suppose that -if an unwanted child were brought into the world- they would lead a life of crime and unrest.

Such folly is exposed by Christ's assertion: "It is not what goes into a man that makes him unclean."

Everyone -let me repeat it again- everyone has a choice about how they are going to live their lives. To quote the athiest philosopher, Jean Paul Sartre, "Man is condemned to be free." If a person chooses evil -as we all have in one sense or another- they are made ineligible to fault their circumstances.

The world is always in the business of explaining its actions away, but the obedient life has no need of justifications.

3) Quality in life comes from love and not from external circumstances.

Suppose a single mother decides to abort her unborn child. Suppose she says to herself, "Now I can find meaning in life because I will have a career or more money to spend elsewhere or time to spend with my friends...". Would such a woman have more quality in life?

Now suppose this woman is prevented from getting a better career or education (which often turns out to be the case because desperate acts tend to lead to more desperate acts). Would the possibility of having a better education or career give a person more quality in life if they had to murder their own unborn son or daughter?

If a person chooses to find their meaning in life through their career or reputation or money, at what point does their life become meaningful? How many friends do they have to have? How much money do they have to make? And is their life worth living before they gain such things?

Measuring the value of one's life in terms of one's external accomplishments and possessions is unlawful in the sight of heaven. The fact that we all do this does nothing to excuse this fact.

The world continually preaches that people should live in a way they can boast about. This is another way of saying that a person's life should first have meaning in the eyes of other people. The result is always, always that the one who lives for the world's approval fails to find approval before God or even their own approval.

Love is the only way one may find quality in life. Paul wrote that if he had the gift of prophecy and could fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and if he had a faith that could move mountains -but he had not love- he would be nothing.

God does not stop loving us when we make choices that are pleasing to Him. In the same way, He does not withold from us the responsibility of loving our neighbor when an easier life is at stake.

I hope I have made my own views on the matter clear. Again, the important part is avoiding desperation by living a life of faith. This is a task for all of us, not only would-be mothers.